This blog, which will probably only be read by Matt Casey thanks to Google Reader... was inspired by my coworkers who thought I should post my random musings. So, as promised to them, here is a poem. Your misfortune if you choose to read it.
The Epic Poem of the Tidget PrincessAnd the rabbit came upon a hut
With lace and web and spider gut
To fetch the last of carrot's taste
Within the land the witch laid waste
"Arrah Arooo Arrah Rah Roo"
The witch doth snarled!
With hate, venom, and huger taboot,
She poured the ingredients from her boot...
And cried with greed and avarice
What is soup without bunny poo?
And the evil witch with her wicked ball
Peered at the rabbit's fluffy tail
Near the chambers of her crooked hall
Alive, the rabbit who could not fail.
"Arrah Aroo Arrah Rah Roo!"
The witch set up her mighty cage
Within the mirror a tasty carrot
To deceive the rabbit as were a sage
The rabbit hopped
The rabbit whistled
"Hurrah hurreeeh!" under its breath.
For a wrong move, and, whoops behoove
The witch to bring upon its death!
But as blonde to karat
Rabbit to carrot
And like mosquito to human lights
I cannot spare the coming frights!
For its excitement not withheld
And, slam, the trap, the rabbit smelled.
The bars enslaved our little bunny
While a witch thinking it all too funny
As the time was coming for her soup
If only she could make this rabbit poop.
She brought the starches, she brought the meat
Cereals, livers and human's feet
But the rabbit sick upon its stomach
So she took out a pole to prod out its rummach.
Away, far away, from all this evilness
Were a beautiful lass, the blood of princess.
Who happened to believe her cubicle a castle.
As common sense was always a hassle.
Our princess heard the cries, she heard the screams.
For observant she were within those cranial beams.
And she gathered her troops, she gathered her hair!
"C'mon soldiers, WE MUST SAVE THAT HARE!"
Into the computer she doth did leap,
She zoomed and spun throughout that net
In and out sites that men hath peep
The princess zoomed along like a fighter jet
And out the evil witch's Dell.
Our graceful princess gracefully fell.
To save the rabbit, to save the day!
While keeping crazy employees at bay!
The witch had reached her hundredth pole
Determined to fit that little hole.
But then she heard a bit of a crash
Turned, alas, we have the Monster Mash!
To describe a princess ten feet tall,
May happen to surprise all y'all.
But our princess had to slouch to fit
Soul food had made her bean stalk lit.
The witch was sly, the witch was fast
With every swing, she flew right past.
She had her cunning she had her tricks
And, surprise!, a chainsaw, for giving licks.
The princess, tall, had stuck her head
What had that genius in her office said?
Beware being tall, for if you are
The greater the chance of getting SARS!
T' evil witch hacked her belly with saw
Out came intestines uncooked and raw
The princess's body was cut in half
Generating maybe now a shock and awe laugh
The following all happened in the time of a smile
As to say it didn't take a long while
And if you don't believe what I say is true
I rue the day I ever met you!
Cloud's retinas flamed from white to red
Pouring tears upon the witch's bed,
Buckets of sadness rained upon the earth
The gods' ethereal love transformed to hearth
Mountains formed and rivers flood
Watery tears were turned to blood
Carrots sprouted and rabbits were born
The world endowed with hope and scorn
For a land given soul within a blink
Marched arm and arm and link to link
To kill the witch and tranform the land
And start a "princess" big rock hair band.
They prodded the witch
They clicked the switch
They watched her brains go tickety tick
And then they surrounded the fallen princess
Still breathing although sawed in half
A top still good, to make more with less.
They treated her as their very own calf.
With divine inspiration and bit of skill
They saved the princess from death's tough pill
And though she were now an inch over 5 foot
It seemed everything had been correctly put!
What to call one of such a size?
They called out to the kingdoms to gather the wise.
They knew in Oz 5 foot were a midget!
But at 5'1", and taller, whatelse but a tidget!!!
And with joy the princess returned to her land.
To punish goofballs with brain lands of sand.
But if your land is in danger, don't you ever fear,
For life's all good with a tidget princess near.
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